Why Do Young Black Women Get "Played"?

[BluBlood]

Of course you know this isn't a question from Blu. Found the article on Netnoir's page. Just found it interesting.

"I believe there are three key reasons for this problem. First, many black women aare not taught to identify with, nor value their feminity in our society. In order to get ahead and be respected as a perceived economically disadvantaged group, too many young black women focus on and develop their mind, intellect and job skills more than their femininity. Secondly, there is not a lot of support for black womanhood and black femininity. Media images still espouse standards that do not speak to black womanhood nor positively reflect it. Third, young black women who are beginning to discover themselves often send out mixed and confusing messages about who they are. They are experimenting with personal values and standards that are usually acquired from the wrong places. And young men easily pick up on this. How can they not?!! THis problem also extends into the greater community of women of color."

What Can You Do

"Young girls can learn to avoid getting hooked into the syndrome of: "Being a strong black woman at all costs, who can make it all by herself and does not need anyone." Believe me, that is a painful trap for many adult women, for whom this issue was overemphasized. Having this attitude alienates those who would cherish and truly love you. Young girls must learn that they can be intelligent, independent, capable and talented, and at the same time learn to balance those traits by allowing themselves to be supported and nurtured. Being feminine means opening up and trusting who you are, what you feel, and what your heart tells you. It means following your heart as a woman, as well as your logical mind."

What are your thoughts?
Full article: http://128.242.217.168/index.cfm?go=%2Fwomen%2Fvoices%2F20010630%5Fplayed %2Ecfm

[LadyLuck13]

Well that's another part to that question? Why do men try to play that "playa" role...But I'm not gonna go there today. Some women get played because of:


LOW SELF ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE and some women feel that they HAVE to have a man in their life for their world to revolve. It's a shame, but that's the main reason

[MsJag4Jag]

Orville Redenbacher, send popcorn!

[MAXIMUS]

two words that go prefect with a woman early in her life: YOUNG AND DUMB. I hate to say it but iit is so true

[LadyLuck13]

Maximus,
That's fine to say as long as you say the same for men :( :confused:

They are just as "young and dumb" as us for playing the silly games they play.

[Brave]

you hit the nail on the head with that one buddy.

I just got one word for what I think....

STUPID


The truth shall set you free.

[BluBlood]

Ok...so if she is young, dumb and stupid, what does that make the guy that is playing the games?

[Brave]

but smart enough to know he needs to play the game, & smart enough to know that she won't recognize that he stupid too.

[LadyLuck13]

Or sometimes, the men fail to realize that they can emotionally scar a woman's feelings and that it will come back around to them.

[the band fan]

stop being so gullable and it won't happen...question who your going to be with and you'll come out on the end

[aamuprettywoman]

AND SISTAHS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES GETTING PLAYED!
There are more young and dumb guys, very narrow minded, egotistical guys out there that fail to see that "they" the spoons are the ones being played. Maybe 20..30 years ago the women were being played, but I think the ground has been leveled to even for both sexes these days. Women and men are str8 trifling!

However, women have been playing games since the beginning of creation....that's why...it's not going to change...it'll get a lot worse before it gets better and you just have to pick and choose which game you're going to play in because everybody plays...whether you want to or not! THAT IS FACT!

[MAXIMUS]

Let's be real now. There are way more women getting played then they are men. It is hard to understand women. They know that the negro aint no good and they still call thereselves having a relationship with him. But men, we are not to quick to have a relationship with a whoremonger. Now that's real. Women that fall for the same trap everytime. But, it kind of messes things up for the good brotha like me though.

[BluBlood]

Maximus, I believe that's APW's point. Men are getting played and don't even realize they are getting played. I'm 28 years old...my playing days were in grammar school. I don't have time for games or to create a game. But if you decide to play that game, be careful, because you just might be captured by your own game.

[aamuprettywoman]

BluBlood:
Maximus, I believe that's APW's point. Men are getting played and don't even realize they are getting played.

<Font size=3 color=blue>DON'T EVEN KNOW IT...WHILE YOU'RE CREEP'N SHE HAS CREPT!</font>

<font color=green>The difference:</font>

"Most men" get caught! "Most women" take it to their graves. You never know, unless she wants you to know, and if she gets caught, it isn't because she didn't want you to know!

Ex. ****snicker****
Susie cheated on her boyfriend(John Doe) of (x) number of years and he never knew. Dood is married with (x) number of kids. (John Doe) asks Susie...did you ever cheat on me back in the day. It's been almost a decade since their break-up and she says...of course, not. It was only you Boo. :kiss: ***snicker***
Susie has nothing to lose from telling this man the truth, but still she chooses not to tell him...why?
You do the math! Women tell U spoons whatevah you want to here and you buy it. Do a poll of guys on this board and I bet the majority would say their girl never cheated on them. We puddins understand that's the way you guys protect your egos, but it doesn't make it true that she didn't cheat because she told you so. She just chose not to tell you for whatever reason...they vary from puddin to puddin. :emlaugh:
That's the hard truth...because you spoons ...like I've said before...
<marquee><font size=6 color=green>CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</font></marquee>

Look @ Puffy and Jennifer...Are they together..."L"no chic is pregnant and about to have another doods baby. :eek:

:idea:PUFFY's arse got <MARQUEE><FONT COLOR=PURPLE>P-L-A-Y-E-D!</FONT></MARQUEE>

[Brave]

Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved....that's real

[BlakkMale]

To be honest everyone gets played. Relationships should be categorized like a job. We all are looking for one with better benefits and an increase in salary. But if you find one you want to retire from just get married.
On the YO!!!

[Robber]

Don't buy that crappy arse example of APW's as proof that women are getting over. Men are 20 times less likely to put up with the crap that women are likely to put up with. And the women KNOW what's going on. Women get caught up just as much as men, the difference is when a woman gets caught up she's likely to get knocked up side the head (wrongly) by the guy and dumped. While when a man is caught up, the woman gets pissed at him, fights the other woman and stays with the man, who continues to screw her friends and everybody else.

If you women wanna get on here and point out ISOLATED examples, please bear in mind that we all know better. How many times has a man been found cheating, but flat out denies it to his woman and she believes him.? Then stops being friends with the heifer who told on ole dude.

For every guy that don't know, there are 10 women that don't.

[Devil's Gun Trigger Man]

Women tell U spoons whatevah you want to here and you buy it. Do a poll of guys on this board and I bet the majority would say their girl never cheated on them. We puddins understand that's the way you guys protect your egos, but it doesn't make it true that she didn't cheat because she told you so. She just chose not to tell you for whatever reason...they vary from puddin to puddin. :emlaugh:
That's the hard truth...because you spoons ...like I've said before...
<marquee><font size=6 color=green>CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</font></marquee>


If more men would fall in love with quality women, and not azz n tittiez, then this wouldn't be a problem.

[kci]

Originally posted by Robber
when a man is caught up, the woman gets pissed at him, fights the other woman and stays with the man, who continues to screw her friends and everybody else.


That is <b>so</b> true....then, when she finally meets a guy that would treat her right and would stand by her, that's when something is "wrong" with him. :rolleyes:

[Warndalyn]

Originally posted by Devil's Gun Trigger Man



If more men would fall in love with quality women, and not azz n tittiez, then this wouldn't be a problem.



Now DGTM, you dun went and sed a mouthful there....more men should think like you.

[Vinita]

A woman gets played once because she got caught slipping. Anything after that, her ass is stupid, and therefore in need of playing.

Tis far better to create a cause for worry than to sit around worrying about the causes of others.

<font size=0.5>*I just made that up*</font size=0.5>

:D

[MAXIMUS]

Roober, DGTM, and esp. kci hit the nail right in the coffin. enough said.

[the band fan]

If more men would fall in love with quality women, and not azz n tittiez, then this wouldn't be a problem.

I don't know where your from, but quality women seem to fall in love with the no-good men here. Or these quality women will sit idle years at a time and wait for Mr. Right to never show.

You get one you better keep her

[MsJag4Jag]

This is the script to too many stories! Sad but it is true.



Originally posted by Robber
Don't buy that crappy arse example of APW's as proof that women are getting over. Men are 20 times less likely to put up with the crap that women are likely to put up with. And the women KNOW what's going on. Women get caught up just as much as men, the difference is when a woman gets caught up she's likely to get knocked up side the head (wrongly) by the guy and dumped. While when a man is caught up, the woman gets pissed at him, fights the other woman and stays with the man, who continues to screw her friends and everybody else.

If you women wanna get on here and point out ISOLATED examples, please bear in mind that we all know better. How many times has a man been found cheating, but flat out denies it to his woman and she believes him.? Then stops being friends with the heifer who told on ole dude.

For every guy that don't know, there are 10 women that don't.

[the band fan]

sounds like women where I attended school in my life

[SU Jag 79]

AMEN Band Fan and DGTM! When a "real" man comes along, the ladies( not all but a good number) seem to gravitate to that mofo in the corner who everybody else knows ain't ish and don't ant to be ish. Then, once they in their late 20's or early 30's, they have been played by them thugs and azzholes and come looking Mr. Good Man ..... well, it don't work like that ladies. The good men usually don't wait all day for you to make up your mind. They move ahead with their future, find a woman who knows what they want out of life, and leave your "overplayed" butt to te youngsters comingup or another thug.

Unfortunately ladies, that's the story of many a man's life and many women wonder why men, especially black men seem to move out of the color spectrum? It is NOT the only reason, but when you have tried numerous times and each time it seems like you are getting the run-around, something gotta give.

I know men play the same games too, but it just seems like you see this scenario more with young black women than their male counterparts.

If you don't believe me, listen to Steve Harvey's "Going Down South .... Somewhere". He tells that exact story!

[aamuprettywoman]

ANOTHER BROTHER IN DENIAL?*SMH*

Robber:

Don't buy that crappy arse example of APW's as proof that women are getting over.


Men are 20 times less likely to put up with the crap that women are likely to put up with.

<font size=4>AND WHY IS THAT?</font>

Because *you* don't even know you're being played.
But, "clawd have mercy squared when you guys do find out. It's like somebody done stole your milk money.:xeye:
Your egos can't take it and your pride won't let you forget YOU'VE been played like an old 33/45 record! :teleport:

I'm not saying its right. I'm simply saying brothers...take some free advice....It is real and it is happening. If you could just be a fly on the wall in the ladies room, @ your girl's friends house, in the salons, @your "own" home while "you" think "you" are "creep'n out" out to get with that honey....ya girl having her needs fulfilled @ "yo" own crib...sometimes even with yo friends...yeah "Yo" boy! "Yo" best boy!
Trifling, but true! Interesting huh? Why should she give up the best of 5 worlds?:D
Males and females do what they want to do. Period!

<font color=blue>Man where is R-Kelly and Isley Brothers.... Mr. Bigg when you need him?</font>
:idea:
****singing****
"Touch me baby...You're contagious....give me what you got.
Sexy lady...drive me crazy...drive me wild...."

You think that video was just made up and all the rest of 'em too.
Man...if folks have always sung about what's really happening. Somebody had to go through it to know about it.
Face it spoons...you're no different...it's okay...See the video if you haven't already and all the rest before this one!
It's no secret...people cheat!


<font size=3 color=blue>
Am I gonna have to pull out the band-aids for you fellahs up in here?</font>:bawling:

Why is it so hard to believe guys are being played too...and some even harder!





And the women KNOW what's going on.


Brothers are in denial, thus what I said previously....
<FONT>YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</FONT>
Why are there more single-eligible black women than ever before...because the smart sistas have awakened! But, instead of giving her that credit...you want to say she's too career oriented, too caught up in herself and definitely self-centered.
Why because she chooses not to be played? Some puddins can't win for losing just like the eligible, serious, career oriented spoons.

[Barre Baby]

Originally posted by Robber
Don't buy that crappy arse example of APW's as proof that women are getting over. Men are 20 times less likely to put up with the crap that women are likely to put up with. And the women KNOW what's going on. Women get caught up just as much as men, the difference is when a woman gets caught up she's likely to get knocked up side the head (wrongly) by the guy and dumped. While when a man is caught up, the woman gets pissed at him, fights the other woman and stays with the man, who continues to screw her friends and everybody else.

If you women wanna get on here and point out ISOLATED examples, please bear in mind that we all know better. How many times has a man been found cheating, but flat out denies it to his woman and she believes him.? Then stops being friends with the heifer who told on ole dude.

For every guy that don't know, there are 10 women that don't.

^^^That is sooo true robber cuz....its like that everday. No Doubt!!

[BIGCAT3000]

APW
I know you were responding to the vibe that was being put out by the fella's. But there was a lot of truth in what both the women and the men have said.
You even had a great point when you mentioned the male ego not being able to take getting played. That's very true. As a matter of fact that's a big reason why a lot of men treat women poorly. No one likes to be hurt in a relationship but men take it ecpecially hard. We take it so hard that we almost shun the idea of being committed to one person again.
I have to disagree with your statement though about "smart sista's". There are more single women than ever before because they think that having a career will make them more desireable. When women describe themselves they frequently use the word "independent". Translated, that means "I make my own money and have my own stuff, so I don't NEED a man". Well that might be true of a lot of women but that's not what a man is looking for. That's what a WOMAN is looking for. So those sisters need a wife, not a husband. A desireable sister knows where her career fits in her life and she understands that inflexible career goals are not always conducive to a relationship. This is the case for men and women alike. As my wife tells me, "the things that work well for you on the job, don't always work so well at home".

[Brave]

Thank you SOOOO much Bigcat for saying that. I'll elaborate on my feelings about the matter...but as of present I gotta go eat!